Brave

1 year ago today I talked to my friend on the phone for 45 minutes right before she took her daughter shopping.  We talked about our kids and how we try our best to raise good human beings.  We discussed all the similarities and differences with first borns, middle children, and the babies of the family. 

   We talked about how easy it is to parent Ben and Blake: responsible, kind, thoughtful kids who want to follow the rules and make their parents and teachers proud.

   We talked about Ella and Bryce: how they are great, smart kids who like to have fun, yet challenge us in ways that make us smile because we know that means they are strong, confident kids who will be amazing adults.  

   We laughed about Jack and Max, funny easy going kids who make us laugh everyday and warm our hearts with their snuggles and their wit.  

  If I would've known that this would be our last conversation I would've said so much more.  The next two days were busy and went by so fast. We exchanged a couple texts, and Bryce was lucky enough to have dinner with her on March 31st.  She ordered pizza and of course ordered B his very own medium pizza as always. 

The following day was April 1st, I texted her a couple times but never got a response.  I boarded a plane to go to Chicago for work and when I landed i received a call from my husband that I won't ever forget. He said "Rachel, I got a call about Cindy".  My heart sank and I asked if she was in the hospital.  He told me she passed away, and immediately my heart broke, the tears fell from my eyes, and I wished I was there with her amazing kids.  I had to pull it together to make it through the airport and to my hotel.  As soon as I entered my hotel room I screamed and cried and felt a pain I haven't ever felt.  She was too young, her kids are so young.  

I finally calmed down enough to call my husband back and he just stayed on the phone with me while I cried.  I then got a call from another one of her friends and we too just cried together through the phone. 

The next morning I FaceTimed the kids with Tim and I had I tell them that Mrs Locey went to heaven.  The sheer pain I saw on the faces and the heartaches that they still carry with them is a testament to what an impact she had on them and how much they loved her.  

My heart still aches every day since she's been gone.  I lay in bed at night and wonder what else she would want me to do to, how else can I be there for her kids, what can I do to help her family who has experienced a tragedy that rocked their world and changed their lives forever. 

 I love all three of her beautiful children. My entire family loves them. We are so lucky to have known Cindy and so blessed to spend time with Ben, Ella, and Jack.  I see so much of Cindy in each of them.  When Ella tells a story, I see Cindy in her smile and hear Cindy in her laugh. When Ben walks into a room I feel Cindys presence and see her in his mannerisms. When Jack hugs me I feel the love for his Mom and i see Cindy in his sweet face. 

I've learned so much in the last year.  I've learned to "Be Brave", I've learned to "say what you wanna say, and let the words fall out", let the people you care about know how important they are to you.  Cherish the special people in your life.

 I'm thankful for Cindys friendship and I'm thankful for the time we had with her 💗.

Are you soft?

As I tucked Blake into bed last night he started crying and was so upset as he told me that he made a bad choice at school that day. They had a substitute teacher for social studies and while he knew he wasn't supposed to touch  any of the science experiments, he  did touch one of them that had a gum ball machine and was all about gum. He  explained what happened, said he felt horrible and that now he was afraid he was going to get in trouble.
I thanked him for telling me and gave him a big hug.  We talked about the situation and how everyone makes mistakes; the important part is that you take ownership , admit you were wrong, and to apologize  to those who were affected by your bad choice.
He said he wanted to talk to his teacher the next morning and I told him I agreed with that decision.  He then asked if I would call her, but I explained that this was something he needed to take care of.

When he got home he said his friends were trying to talk him out of confessing, but he said he needed to tell on himself.  His friend D told him he was crazy, that he was a "softie" cuz he also touched it but didn't tell his parents, teacher, or even think twice about it.
Blake said he went into the classroom, right away in the morning, asked to speak with the teacher in the hall, confessed what he did, said he was sorry and that he knew it was wrong and he feels terrible about it.  She thanked him for telling her and for apologizing, and said she really appreciated him coming to her.
At the end of the school day, Blake was called to the office.  The principal presented Blake with a positive paw, which is an award for going above and beyond, for taking responsibility for his actions.  When Blake got back to his classroom to share his award, he looked at his friend D and said, "maybe you should come to the soft side"!
He felt so good about confessing!
I'm so proud of him for owning it, having the courage to admit his wrongdoing, and for not falling into peer pressure.  He did make a bad choice, but he learned some very big lessons as a result.
Unfortunately he will be faced with temptations of much greater magnitude in the very near future.  I believe these instances are building the framework on how he will be equipped to handle situations on a bigger stage.
I'm writing this down because I want to remember.  I want to reflect back on this, recalling the growth I witnessed before my eyes.

What's your Mom like?

Anyone who knows me would probably agree I'm a little goofy.  I like to have fun, especially with my kids.  I play restaurant lady in the kitchen and have several different accents to apply depending on the type of food I am serving.  My boys enjoy it to a certain extent, but I usually push it to the point where they are begging me to talk normal again, haha!  Many of the neighborhood kids have come to my restaurant and gave rave reviews (I've heard from their parents, lol!).
 I can also be found singing and dancing in the kitchen every single day.  I'm not exaggerating.  Every.Single.Day.  The boys had friends over last weekend and I was carrying on in the kitchen as usual.  At one point Blake looked over at his friend and said, "does your Mom do this?"  and the boy said "NO".  I paused and asked Blake if I was embarrassing him and he said "No, not at all" . . . so I continued  bopping along to whatever kidz bop song was playing, thankful they haven't reached the embarrassing Mom stage yet . . . I'm guessing if we had girls we would already be there.

Boys like Girls

I was tucking Blake and Bryce into bed one night and Blake started talking about this girl he likes.  Yes, he is 9 years old and is girl CRAZY!  He tells us a story about his crush going to a particular spot to read every day, so he got there first and was so glad he did.  She came up and when she saw Blake sitting there he said he scooched over and looked up at her.  She then sat down next to him and he said he was so glad he did it because they talked the entire reading hour and he said "I really got to know her character, Mom, and I liker her even more now".  ;)
Bryce then chimed in saying this girl at school always hugs him and he doesn't like it.  Blake told him he knows what girl he is talking about and that the girl is actually very sweet.  Bryce says, "She's nice, but I only like older girls . . .  like Paige".  Paige is 21 years old!!!!!!! 
Lord help us!

Color Blind

Bryce was trying to describe a girl from school who is in 2nd grade.  He said, she is shorter than me and has gray hair.  I said, "Gray hair?  Are you talking about a student?" He said "Yes."
I asked, "Any chance her hair is brown instead of gray"?  He smiled, "Yeah, probaly, all looks the same to me, though".

I am Momma Bear, hear me roar

My heart is aching as horrible events unfold all around me.  As a Mom I am struggling with how to protect my kids from harm, how to prepare them for the world we live in, and how to keep Faith despite all of the evil that we are faced with.

Yesterday, the news broke the story of the explosions at the Boston Marathon.  It's simply unbelievable.  We know people who were there, after working so hard for so long to accomplish a life long goal,  they never reached the finish line.  Thankfully they escaped the disaster without any physical injuries, but I think we all suffered emotional trauma nonetheless.  I like the idea to focus less on the negativity and watch for the "helpers" and the outpouring of love and support as we stand united.  This helps our kids see that there are so many good people in the world and that we can't let evil prevail.
As I stood at the bus stop yesterday with Max waiting to hug my big boys I was again hit with another dose of evil.  My middle man Bryce stepped off the bus missing his usual happy grin and he ran to my arms in tears.  He looked up at me with blood on his hands and blood dripping from his nose to tell me he was punched in the face on the bus.  I cannot tell you how bad I wanted to sit on the ground and cry with him. Unfortunately, this is not our family's first experience with a bully, but it was Bryce's first experience. No matter if it's the first time or the 5th time it hurts beyond words. 
A boy next to Bryce took Bryce's hand and formed it into a fist, then he punched Bryce's face with it so hard his head hit the kid next to him.  When Bryce told me this, I took him to the bus and asked for the boy to come to the front.  When I asked the other boy what happened he said Bryce's story was true but it was an accident.  I explained to the boy that you don't accidentally punch some one's face after forming a fist with his hand. I also asked the boy to apologize to Bryce.  The bus driver wrote down their names and said the boy will now sit in the front seat of the bus.

When we got home I cleaned up with blood from Bryce's hands and face, talked more with the boys about it, hearing their worries and concerns, helping them understand what they can learn from the situation. I then called the principal who said she would pull the bus tape, talk to the boy and his parents. 
What concerns me the most is that the boy showed no remorse what.so.ever. Honestly, Bryce is a tough cookie and I was impressed with how he handled himself and the situation, but he is only a first grader, 7 years old, it makes me sad.

 Now I am stuck trying to find the words to teach our boys not to take crap from people without going against everything else we've taught them. Clearly, I don't want them getting into fights, but I don't want them to constantly be targets either.
The world we live in is full of challenges; we have to do what we can to equip our kids for life's adventures. I would certainly welcome advice . . . it takes a village doesn't it?      

Spring Break 2013: Disney Vacation

This was the BEST family vacation we could ask for!  We drove our RV to Orlando for Spring Break and stayed at the Disney Fort Wilderness Campground for a week.  It's right next to Magic Kingdom and comes with all the Disney magic to make for a fabulous experience. We took our bikes and enjoyed the huge property with paved trails, a beach, an awesome pool, restaurants, playground, and plenty of organized activities for the kids.  To top it all off they have a campfire every night with entertainment and special appearances by Chip and Dale followed by a movie on a huge outdoor movie screen. We LOVED this resort and would recommend it to everyone!!

 

We also had reservations for Mickey's Backyard BBQ located right at the campground.  It included dinner,  a live band, and dancing/games with Mickey, Minnie, Chip, Dale, and Goofy. We had so much fun!  We also visited Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios, and of course Downtown Disney.

This is at Mickey's Backyard BBQ, Max's first experience with characters.

 

This was Max's face the first time he laid eyes on Mickey :)

 

Hugs for Goofy

Despite the fact that it was 83 degrees, Max insisted on wearing jeans!

 

Hugs and high fives for Mickey on the dance floor

 

B giving Mickey some skin

 

Lightning McQueen and Mater at Hollywood Studios

 

Monsters, Inc: Sully and Mike Wizowski

 

Soldier from Toy Story

 

Lightning McQueen made an appearance in the stunt show we watched

 

Watching some college basketball in the motor home

 

Mickey Blake

 

Max was so happy to be outside riding his bike.  They went round and round! 

 

Mickey Bryce

 

 Mickey's backyard BBQ family pic

 

Our cute boys

Blake and Bryce were lucky enough to be a part of the Star Wars Jedi Training show at Hollywood Studios.  They learned how to be a Jedi and how to fend off Darth Vader and the dark side.
This is Blake

 

This one is Bryce

 

Max loves his little stuffed stitch he actually swiped from Blake's room a year ago.  Stitch and his blue bear go everywhere with him. It was so fun for him to see "real" Stitch :)  He showed real Stitch his little stuffed one and the character was playing around with it and had the boys laughing. Very cool!

 

Handy Manny had fun with Bryce and Max (Blake was WAY too cool for this character).  He had them posing like Buzz and Woody and they were giggling like crazy.

 

Family FAVE: Buzz and Woody

 

Love this pic of our boys in Downtown Disney.  We have pictures of Blake and Bryce when they were very young and it is really cool to do a side by side comparison.

 

Max was one excited little boy the entire trip.  He had super cool themed shirts to wear everyday and played it up as much as possible.  It was heartwarming to see his sheer joy over everything.  Seriously worth every penny!

 

Hot stuff at the pool!  The pool was HUGE, had a cool water slide, there was a separate little kid area with small water slides, zero entry, and slash pad type things, and also a wading pool for little ones. 

 

One of the pool side activities was over sized Jenga.  They also had dunk tanks, trivia, hot potato with water balloons, etc.

 

One night before heading to dinner

 

Disney thinks of everything!  While we waiting for our table there were hula hoops, ring toss, checkers, etc. to keep the kids entertained.  AND there was a window to the bar where you could purchase beverages while you wait.

 



 

One of Max's favorite things at Magic Kingdom was the race cars.  Every ride he went on he would get off, raise his hands and say, "That was AMAZING"


 

Gotta love the castle and the show

 

I had to throw our little mouse-ka-teers in jail with Zerg ;)

 

One pic of Mom and Dad 

 

Loving every ride!

 

Super fun DJ and more dancing with the characters at Magic Kingdom.

It was kinda funny, Chip wanted to dance with Max and I the entire time. Stitch, however, would start to dance with Max then would see me and walked away.  This happened several times.  Not sure what I did to make Stitch not like me??!!

The boys were so well behaved, very appreciative of every single thing, and Tim and I were in love with the entire experience. Many memories that will stay with us forever.